Miracles, Imagination, & Regret (Suffering, wk 6)
We tie up various loose ends and respond to some outstanding questions after leaning into the discomfort of talking about suffering for the last month. (Art: "Sorrowing Old Man At Eternity's Gate" by Van Gogh)
SPEAKER NOTES
Miracles, Imagination, & Regret (Suffering, wk 6)
Intro
- Finishing up our suffering series: talking about the tension of alleviating and embracing suffering
- A good, full life includes both pursuits
- Jesus as model of this navigating this tension
- Today: Tying up some loose ends
- Some things we had in our notes but didn’t get to (shocking, i know, but we tend to have a lot of notes)
- Some outstanding questions, based on feedback from all of you, in person or in Discord
Vince transition
Miracles
- Helpful to start by talking about the open and relational view on God and life we dove into last week
- Open - life is not a book already written or predetermined by God; life is an in-process document and God is the cursor moving with the text — always present with us as the story is unfolding
- Relational - life is not just the will of an all-controlling God or just what an all-controlling God chooses to allow instead of stop; life is the result of the interrelatedness of God and the world — including all of us and our free will
- God is not the only cause for why things happen or don’t happen;there are many other complex causes at play
- I’ve found it helpful to reframe the popular mentality that “God works in mysterious ways” — as “life works in mysterious ways”, but God’s character is consistent, consistently loving and just
- The controversial part of that, which several folks very intelligently picked up on last week, is that this changes the way we might think about miracles
- (which is an extremely important comfort to many!)
- The fear is: Is this view squashing that comfort? Is this saying miracles can’t happen? Is this view limiting God’s ability to do mighty deeds?
- especially with one of the suggestions I brought up last week about a different comfort —
- that often the most comforting response to those who have suffered and cried out “God why didn’t you stop this?!” is “God can’t single handedly, magically stop an instance of suffering.”
- That is important to the person who has suffered because a God who can single-handedly snap a different reality into existence but refuses to is not worthy of worship
- BUT do we have to make a trade off then?
- Can we not have both comforts? — Miracles AND a God who isn’t coldly withholding
- Are those comforts mutually exclusive?
- I believe we can have both
- but it does mean we have to slightly shift what we believe about miracles
- So I wanted to invite up one of the people who had such a thoughtful response to last week, because they shared a powerful story about experiencing a miracle
- I want to hear their story and then try to understand it on open and relational terms, rather than on the terms of “God works in mysterious ways”
- Ed story
- Responding to Ed’s story
- from an Open and Relational view,
- this miracle you experienced was not “God choosing to suspend the usual rules, as opposed to all of those other times God chooses not to”,
- it was an especially powerful moment of alignment between God and the world
- Your parents prayers and faith contribute to that alignment
- The peer-pressure is a condition God works in spite of
- But other conditions we can’t observe or fully comprehend seemed to have been conducive
- It’s never simple or clean input-output, it’s messy and complex (b/c life works in mysterious ways) but God and the world are uniquely aligned in this situation, and we get a miracle!
- God never wasn’t working for your health and wellness and your family’s security and stability
- But in any given moment, God is not the only powerful cause at work,
- And environmental conditions and people’s choices will constrain what is possible
- Which is why miracles don’t happen every time we pray
- This allows us to believe the in the power of our prayers to bring about more alignment with God’s will,
- BUT ALSO, because this accounts for just how unimaginably complex life is, it protects us against the debilitating lie of magical thinking that “I just didn’t pray enough” if I don’t see a miracle
- miracles (and praying with high faith for them) can absolutely be a part of the open and relational view on prayer we’re encouraging!
- ==Give Ed last word==
- from an Open and Relational view,
- Miracles are
- rare alignments (not God unilaterally suspending the rules),
- God breaking-through (not breaking-in)
- Or an emergence from below (not dictation from on high)
- The word Alignment brings to mind stories in scripture of miracles that have human involvement and participation
- The woman who reaches out to touch Jesus’ garment- she reaches toward her own healing.
- A man’s sight being restored by Jesus rubbing mud in his eyes and having him wash his own face.
- Even the water turning to wine— Jesus has other people go and collect the water in stone jars. There’s an element of human participation / cooperation in the miracle stories
- this is still a mighty God! God who partners with in miraculous ways
- AND, it’s a God who isn’t cold to our suffering
- It’s both comforts!
- Mighty God and co-sufferer, Which feels more like Jesus!
- Further Resources:
- Monica Coleman — “I teach people how to understand suffering without questioning God’s love” https://learn.monicaacoleman.com/where/?utm
- Where is God in all this human suffering?
- Maybe God isn't good?
- Maybe God isn't able?
- Why isn't God delivering us?
- Tom Oord
- God Can’t (link to audiobook will be in chat)
- Monica Coleman — “I teach people how to understand suffering without questioning God’s love” https://learn.monicaacoleman.com/where/?utm
Imagination
- I also wanted to talk about imagination as both an act of embrace and alleviating
- Imagination as a force can be sustaining in the midst of suffering and open up new possibilities for alleviating suffering as we move forward
- Rest is Resistence by Tricia Hersey (one of my favs)- the fourth movement of her rest manifesto is dedicated to imagination
- Coming from the fierce conviction and confidence that liberation from suffering is possible now
- “We underestimate imagination. Belittle it as a waste of time, a thing done by frivolous children, and constantly push the false idea that imagination does nothing but allow a moment of escapism in a harsh and cruel world. The imagination that I am uplifting is not escapism… This imagination work allows individuals to be able to see what is possible. We too have a right to build and reimagine our world.”
- In the face of suffering — and Hersey is specifically talking about suffering at the hand of capitalism and white supremacy— we have to have the vision to create and build a world of flourishing for all people, especially the oppressed.
- You can simultaneously imagine what a more liberated future for yourself looks like and act in ways that make that future come to be.
- You can imagine what a more liberated world looks like and act in ways that build that world
I like that.
- Yesterday was our church’s last contemplative prayer meet-up for the winter —
- a group of people practicing silent, contemplation together alongside God, often using our imaginations to do so —
- so we can re-enter life with more sanity, less reactive (to suffering especially), more guided by God
- And we brought up Hersey in our discussion of our experiences yesterday —
- because the pace and demands of Modern American Life, driven by the Market mostly, will not provide space for this for us
- like, for examples, cultures that some of us had experiences in where there is a mid-day rest hour, or siesta, or 2 hr lunch break
- it can be infuriating that it is left up to us as individuals in our culture
- but that means rest really is resistance (and contemplation of our suffering and imagination)
- and we felt a charge in that, like we were sticking it to the man by being silent for 20 minutes
Similarly, Cole Arthur Riley talks about the power of using awe as a lens
- “It is difficult to control the targets of our numbing” (this came up in the chat)
- When we try to numb our feelings around suffering, we can numb awe and delight and wonder— we close ourselves off unintentionally to truly feeling things now and imagining what could be ahead
- “Wonder, then, is a force of liberation” — We can embrace suffering and embrace the wide array of emotions beyond what is heavy and difficult.
- This allows us to hold awe and wonder about the future instead of despair
With imagination, we can embrace the many posssible paths ahead, trusting that God is present
- Present in the wondering, choosing, and coming to be
- This is freeing and empowering for someone who is suffering—
- God is with you as you imagine what else could be possible
Yeah, love that you connect this to last week’s discussion of “praying for many possibilities rather than trying to discover the one pre-determined outcome”
- There are many possible paths for good, but that requires imagination to believe
- God’s calling is not something that limits us; it’s something that expands us
- God is our great co-author in real time, our great fellow-experiencer, writing the in-process document of life with us
- I think of...
- Jeremiah 29:11 — plans to prosper you, not to harm you, and give you a good future — for the Israelites in exile whose original plan is dashed, God encourages imagining new possibilities
- Romans 8:28 — in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose — that purpose isn’t limited to one pre-determined path; it is so much MORE inspiring if it is expanding our imagination of the future
Regret
- We’ve talked a lot this series about finding comfort and hope from God in the midst of unfair or purposeless suffering
- And finding God redeem those things
- Premature deaths, depression, betrayal, natural diasasters
- But what I realized we should say more on is when suffering is understandable, as opposed to unfair/purposeless,
- When we’ve made choices we regret and we’re experiencing the suffering of the consequences of our actions
- When a feeling of guilt is not false guilt; it’s appropriate
- I think of my brother
- Who was an alcoholic and hurt my family a lot with his choices in his teenage years and young adulthood
- In his thirties he got into a 12 step program — AA
- And one of the steps is “we took a fierce moral inventory about those we’d harmed and made direct amends whenever that wouldn’t cause further harm”
- Before he died he took that step really seriously
- He invited me out for coffee (we NEVER did that),
- he apologized to me
- he told me he loved me
- I never would have believed I could have such a connecting moment with him
- It took him sucking the poison out
- That is suffering that DOES have a purpose
- This is the kind of suffering that is behind scriptures like
- “the Lord disciplines those he loves”
- or classic conversion stories like God blinding St. Paul on the Damascus Road
- Or “God’s mercies are new every morning” (like we sang today) which has the line “let us bury our face in the dust; the Lord has laid in on us; there may yet be hope”
- I can totally see God being behind the purposeful short-term suffering of sucking the poison out (that feels true collectively too - a racist nation needs to suck the poison out)
- But it strikes me as deeply inappropriate and hurtful if we over-apply that to suggest God is behind unfair suffering like cancer or a natural disaster
- In its proper context of regret, though, it’s a comfort! — it is better to face the consequences of my actions with a God of new mercies than without — because there is so little mercy in most of life
- I’ve listened to podcast episodes lately that are focused on repair
- Episode of We Can Do Hard Things— interviewed Dr. Becky Kennedy. Talking about repair in the context of parenting but works for all relationships
- Two things: 1. repair helps to amend the story. It writes a new ending to what has taken paced
- In an instance of suffering when you may have regret- you hurt someone you care about- if you don’t do any repair work, that’s the end of the story.
- For them and for you. (If your brother never invited you out for coffee)
- But if you go back and work toward restoration, if you apologize and commit to change, you’re writing a new ending to the story
- In an instance of suffering when you may have regret- you hurt someone you care about- if you don’t do any repair work, that’s the end of the story.
- We often think that in instances of regret we need to double down and be extra hard on ourselves. It’s counter intuitive but we actually need to affirm our inner goodness in order to change.
- “Aren’t I letting myself off the hook?” Dr. Kennedy says that doubling down in shame and guilt is actually letting ourselves off the hook because it won’t lead to any change
- Similar to the “shame is not an effective motivator”
- Reminding ourselves of our own inner goodness and self-worth is far more helpful if we are going to move past regret and act in new ways
- We often think that in instances of regret we need to double down and be extra hard on ourselves. It’s counter intuitive but we actually need to affirm our inner goodness in order to change.
- God’s mercies are new every morning— you get to chose if you will act the same way this morning and the next morning and the next
- You can change your mind!
- You can forgive yourself
- You can repent— can feel like charged language but really just means turn in a new direction
- You can repair
- You can be hopeful
- It’s not a clean slate. We are changed by suffering- that we experience, that we cause; senseless or purposeful. We don’t have suffering amnesia
- but it is a spiral staircase
- When we move through feelings of regret instead of being stuck in them, we gain greater perspective
- Healing is not a linear journey- what have I learned and gained that is helping me heal now, is helping me transform my guilt or shame or regret now.